My very first vibrator was a gift. It was a purple CalExotics bullet vibe, with seven patterns and four intensities. I owned this vibrator until I was 25, at which point I decided to part ways with my sentimentality and prioritize my Tango over this little corded bullet.
The first day I got this vibe, I couldn’t wait to try it out. I was sixteen, and it was gifted to me by an older (and now I realize, creepier) man. It was the first sex toy I had even seen, much less used. That first night, after I was sure my parents were well asleep, I piled blankets and pillows up around my pelvis to try and muffle the sound.
I experimented with the different patterns and enjoyed them, but as would be my MO for the foreseeable future, stuck with the steady vibration. It didn’t take me long to get off, especially since I had been using nothing but my
It was similar to this discontinued iEgg from Doc Johnson, found at BedroomJoys.com
hands up until that point. There came a time when that vibe could get me from sleepy to coming within 42 seconds. (That was my record.)
I used this vibrator almost every day for… a while. I would come home from high school, while my parents were both still working, and vibe one out before going to work at my after-school job. I stored it in my desk, in a pillowcase, way in the back of a drawer full of printer paper. I was never caught with it, though I’m not sure my parents truly didn’t know I had a sex toy in my teenage bedroom.
When I went to college, I left it at home. I didn’t want to risk a roommate coming across a toy, but I also worried that I would miss it terribly. I wouldn’t say I did, but it was always a welcome thought whenever I went home for a holiday.
Eventually, the motor quit. There were two attachments, and I had worn the silver finish off the one that died. I grieved. I tried the other attachment, but it just didn’t feel as good. Luckily, a roommate gave me a gag gift of a rabbit vibe– which was jelly, and I now shudder to think that it was inside me– and I could make that work. But of course, it wasn’t the same.
I still kind of miss that vibe, honestly. It was buzzy and cheap, but it was reliable. There wasn’t a time where it didn’t get me off, which I can’t say for things like my Eroscillator or Magic Wand. It was the only toy I owned for about eight years. This was the vibe that taught me how to get along with my clit! This was the vibe that convinced me I didn’t need penetration, and that that was just fine! Even though it was cheaply made and the vibrations were nothing to write home about, it left me with some good memories.
RIP little purple bullet vibe. Kinda miss you. Kinda glad I’m a Tango convert.