I’m a big advocate for using the words you want in order to identify and describe yourself. Nobody knows you better than you do. But I’m also a big fan of knowing the history of your words. The word queer has been around since old timey white dudes used it to describe something odd, strange, … Continue reading Are Asexual People Queer?
The first time I slipped into a strap on harness, I was in a hotel room with a guy I met from the internet. He had confided that getting fucked in the ass by a girl with a strap on was the pinnacle of his sexual fantasies, and he was convinced that he wouldn’t get … Continue reading Square Peg, Round Hole: On Pegging, Submission, and Asexuality
If you’re like me, in order to prepare for a situation, you run through every possible outcome and rehearse how you’ll react. Anxiety life, am I right? I did this when I told my parents I was asexual, and went through every possible situation I could think of. It was like a choose your own … Continue reading Choose Your Own Adventure: Telling Someone You’re Asexual
I find that this is something that needs to be talked about time and time again. There are a lot of different rhetorics around asexuality, even amongst the LGBTQIA+ community. It’s important to remember that asexuality is a spectrum and that many people experience it many different ways. But there are some persistent myths that … Continue reading Myths About Asexuality
I don't really know when Mary and I realized we were both ace, but we've talked about it, and I'm always interested to hear other viewpoints.
In my reading about asexual experiences and getting questions on Tumblr, I noticed a theme. People always want to know if their experience is normal.
Personally, I’ve begun telling my partners that I identify as asexual. We talk about it, I reassure them that there’s no flaw with them, and then it’s over.
The asexual label feels like a finicky pair of jeans to me. Some days, it fits really well. Other days, it’s uncomfortable but I can’t put my finger on why, or what else I would even wear.
Mindfulness does a lot of things; it reduces stress, improves focus, and reduces depressive symptoms. Apparently mindfulness also leads to better sexual responses.
It’s only just starting to feel like I’m reappearing. Some part of me will be abruptly thrown into focus and I’m forced to shift my understanding of who I am.