Heads up loves, there are some bruises in this post! All consensual, but if that’s going to squick you out or make you uncomfortable in any way, please feel free to skip this post!
I got my Mother Fucker from Creative Kink after doing a short SEO audit for them. (Want to work with me? Let’s chat.)
And boy, do I love it.
It made it into a recent Monthly Favs post, but I needed to wax poetic about it for a little while longer and give it its own post. This toy is my favorite impact toy in my (admittedly small) arsenal. It’s got a little bit of a sting, but not too much. It bruises like a bitch, and when done right, can even make me feel like I’ve had a particularly rough sports massage on my ass. Not a bad thing.
Stats time. Mine is pink color stained oak, and I LOVE the pink. It’s my favorite option, and I’m so glad I own it. It’s 24 inches long with a soft grip handle and even a little lanyard you can use to hang it with! There’s absolutely no flexibility in this thing, although the individual half inch rounds do tend to spread (hence the small sting) a little bit. I like to leave a hair elastic looped around the end to keep them from spreading. I have very little sting tolerance!
Be warned. This thing leaves some damn good bruises. My partner doesn’t even really spend that long on me with this thing and I come away with deep, painful, beautiful bruises. It’s easy to go overboard with this toy since it feels so deeply impactful. The spread between the rods helps, but start slow!
I haven’t had the pleasure of using this on anyone yet, but I’ll admit the weight does feel good in my hands. My partner, who has used it on me multiple times, really enjoys using it on me. He says the multiple rods thwacking against each other after each strike is pretty loud and very pleasing, and he definitely enjoys the shock factor for me! The sound is worse than the strike with this thing.
I also own the similarly constructed 30-inch pink cane , which I have yet to review, but I’ll be sure update with a little bit of a comparison when I do review it.
If you want a cost-effective, bruise-effective bundle of wickedness, the Mother Fucker is the toy for you. You can buy direct through their Etsy shop! Thank you to Creative Kink for working with me for their SEO needs!
After seeing this post I told my partner I wanted one for my birthday and he delivered. We’ve only used it once so far but we both enjoyed how the beginning traces of bruises looked on him. XO