What the Fuck is Up With Butts?

Content note: I talk about some feelings around butt stuff here, which might be triggering or distressing for those working through feelings of shame or “dirtiness”. While that’s not the view I hold of anal play, I do understand if you want to skip this particular post! Keep yourselves safe, loves!

Unpopular opinion: I think anal sex is weird and I don’t get it.

That’s not to say that I don’t think people should do it. I’m not here to yuck someone’s yum. I just… don’t get it? I never have. I had an ex who said, “Why stay at a Motel 6 when there’s a Ritz Carlton next door?” And, despite the metaphor, I understood what he meant (even if it only applies to folks with vaginas).

First of all, it seems like a whole heck of a lot of preparation. Some people like to tackle an enema before anal, and wow does that seem like a lot of time and energy that could be spent on other things, like napping or baking cookies. Some people feel like waxing, or bleaching. Those both seem like painful things on my sensitive butt. I think I’ll pass.

The second reason I don’t get anal? The horror stories. I had a roommate in college who was… ill-prepared, maybe? At any rate, her partner pulled out really quickly and it was a literal shitstorm. There is no universe in which I could handle that.

Also, see this post about that time I used a plug and said it felt like pooping in reverse. I imagine anal intercourse would be the same. Decidedly not sexy.

That’s not to say that I don’t like butt stuff. I like it with partners, when they’re on the receiving end. I like using strap-ons on partners. There are butt toys I want to try. I just can’t wrap my head around anything more than a plug in my ass.

All that said, I haven’t actually tried anal sex. Therefore, I could very well eat my words if I do try it. I might love it. It could be the next great thing in my sex life. I’m gonna try some stuff this weekend and see if I find something that really strikes a chord with me.

But I doubt it.

My point is, it’s okay not to be into things. Especially things that are lately seen as mainstream. You don’t have to be into everything. You do you. 


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